For software As Compact As Possible

Sinner Computing - 2004 Birthday Bash

The Sinner Computing team have been quiet this year. We were hoping to secure an interview at their AGM, but it was a scaled back affair due to their move to a larger office in May. However, by cunningly disguising ourselves as coffee bags, we managed to sneak in the back door of their office to instead witness the much rumoured 2004 Birthday Bash.

To our surprise most of the core staff were still working, with the exception of Jack who seemed to be celebrating for all. Our disguises still holding, we sneaked into the kitchen and found Christina and Charles engaging in some personal celebration. We were just taking some photos when Andrew Glina (the Sinner Computing CEO) came in and emptied my sound tech into the coffee machine. The game was up then as he noticed the coffee was more bitter than usual. We removed our disguises and after apologising for our deception, we explained franticly that we just wanted an interview. Andrew thought about it and eventually told Chuck to stop hitting us, deciding to grant us half an hour as it took that long for the police to come anyway.

	Andrew "J" Glina said that it has been a hard year, especially since he lost control of Sinner Computing in February due to a hostile takeover from PredFut software. As part of cost cutting they forced the company to move south to save money on air conditioning and banned all future purchases of P4 processors. Andrew believes that if he had pushed harder for more internal focus on completing existing projects like LunaBase then things would have been different. We were about to press for further information on Sinner Computings plans for 2005 but John Dart sauntered in at that point prompting Andrew to get up and leave. Tense!
Things have been looking up for John Dart. He revealed in an interview that the running expenses (reportedly consisting largely of coffee machines, coffee beans and large speakers) of Sinner Computing barely exceeded the actual income, which when published caused Sinner Computing stock to plummet 80%. (Later it was revealed that this figure was wrong, but most of the blame went on Rachael.) Since the take-over John was appointed Acting CEO by Andrew, who unusually still holds the position of CEO. When we asked who actually runs the group now John assured us, "Oh, it is definitely me. Andrew is only kept around to avoid giving him an early termination payout. His contract expires late 2005 and PredFut plan to sack that useless twit then." Heartless!
	Not much has changed for Jozef Markaoovf (the second). He still holds the position of Programming Team Director and took some time out from his coffee break to talk with us. When questioned what was his proudest accomplishment of 2004 he declared proudly that it was the completion of SinnerDL. Confused, we asked for clarification as we thought it was generally nothing special and still in Beta. Instantly Jozef stiffened and pulled out his organizer, and then after a few minutes he left the room muttering swear words. Startling!
We interrupted Christina and Charles's conference to get some details on their plans for 2005. Christina initially mistook what we meant and revealed that she and Charles plan to get married after LunaBase is released. Upon being informed that we were more referring to Sinner Computing Website design plans she was disappointed, but then said that she is considering removing the long term "side bar" and replacing it with a top drop down menu. Scoop!
	Charles Tipovf seemed as unfocused as his fiancé. We asked him of the difficulties of providing help to the billions of Sinner Computing users but he proclaimed it was easier this year as once SinnerDL was finished Jozef focused on user tweaks so most users were happy. Furthermore the installer was upgraded this year which solved another common source for problems. What we did get out of him was that there should be an addition of the Support page for each program consisting of FAQs. Personally we think this is just an excuse to work more closely with Christina. Romantic!
When PredFut software started buying up stock Andrew attempted to enact a "Poison Pill" but it didn't seem to affect the take over. Since Rachael Marks was in charge of managing this we were curious to shed some light on why. But when we tracked her down in Chucks office (handling his account supposedly) she denied it was a big deal. "PredFut were offering more money than we were worth so why ruin a good deal?” she said. "Besides, it was the last chance to make a fortune with my stock options." Rachael went on to explain that she has streamlined the accounting of Sinner Computing so in addition she is on the programming team helping out those "silly boys" with the hexadecimal maths. Impressive!
	While we were in his office we took the chance to find out what Chuck "Big Balls" Bundy has been up to. He told us that recently he finished a course on Advanced Vernam Cryptology and that gave him a new badge on his uniform. At first we thought this answered the question of what kind of "Security" he worked on, but he must of sensed our question as he pre-emptively explained that it was just a hobby, his primary job these days was breaking up fights between the CEO and Acting CEO. Feeling more confused we asked for more details, but Chuck started grunting and going on about his custom Chongalongalongalonga variant so we took the hint and left. Mysterious!
We made our way to the main office of Sinner Computing where we found Jack Glass doing some research on what seemed to be the USAs White House. However all we got to read was the browser tab because as we approached he closed the window. While he wouldn't reveal what he was researching then (he looked excited about it so it must be a new project) he did say that he is always kept busy reading EMails that Charles forwards to him as they are full of ideas from users. Jack feels that these ideas are more important than internal ideas as they are what the actual users what. "Besides", he says after checking no one else was listening, "it means that other people do my Head Researcher job for me". Touching!
	It was revealed recently that Robbie Back had absolutely no qualifications on anything and when given an IQ test (he applied for Mensa) he filled it with a Sci-Fi fan script. Robbie (while obviously immature due to his vast and well used Lego collection) does not appear to be an idiot, but he says that he is often referred to as one. "But that was how I got the job of Product Testing," Robbie explained. "Who better to do idiot proofing that an idiot?” How can you argue with that? Even so, Robbie said that Andrew is sick of him breaking keyboards while testing for buffer overflow vulnerabilities. Devoted!
Last of all we found Edward Skits. He has recently been shunned by many artists for his last Egg icon, which many feel is just a photo. To get to the heart the issue we first complemented him on the recent Secs and TwinSeek icons in an attempt to soften his mood. However when we asked him for proof that the Egg icon was not a photo his famous temper flared up and he produced a carton of Eggs from his top draw and threw them at us. Luckily they missed us and landed in a nearby fish tank and were eaten up by "Lucifer". His ammo deleted we then asked if it was true that the XorIt icon design was largely the idea of a German Doctor but he slammed the door to his Art Room. Moody!

Love is in the air at Sinner Computing